Author Topic: my joke of the day  (Read 963 times)

Offline Porky

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my joke of the day
« on: 13 December, 2015, 18:05:14 »
cannibals DON'T eat Clowns --------






------because they taste funny  :P

well I have not heard it before :(

Offline bobdylan

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #1 on: 14 December, 2015, 08:05:08 »
very good Porky
dont clean, just ride

Offline choppsie

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #2 on: 14 December, 2015, 09:10:35 »
:D

Offline sheldimus

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #3 on: 18 December, 2015, 12:12:52 »
Bad joke day eh..

What did one snowman say to the other...

Can you smell carrots?
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.
Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?!

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail..

Offline shakie

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #4 on: 18 December, 2015, 13:00:01 »
He he....and of course what's the difference between a snow man,and a snow woman...................S'no. Balls.............I see we have started the Xmas cracker jokes early.
"Old people are no good at everything".....Homer Simpson  ....doh!

Offline biker

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #5 on: 18 December, 2015, 14:37:51 »
On the subject of Christmas cracker jokes, this is supposedly the top one for 2015.

Why does Ed Milliband like his advent calendar?
Because he gets to open the door of number 10!

Sorry if I spoilt Christmas for you..........lol
Move on be brave don?t weep at my grave because I?m no longer here, but please never let your memories of me disappear.

The Spirit Carries On. Dream Theatre

Offline sheldimus

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #6 on: 18 December, 2015, 14:52:40 »
I've got something a bit better.. ;)

There are 4 stages in life;
1. You believe in Santa
2. You don't believe in Santa
3. You dress up like Santa
4. You look like Santa

Also, for Christmas I would like Santa's list of naughty girls please.. >:D 8) ;)
« Last Edit: 18 December, 2015, 15:43:56 by sheldimus »
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.
Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?!

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail..

Offline choppsie

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #7 on: 18 December, 2015, 15:28:48 »
Hopefully one for Sheldi:

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre ......
So the barman gives her one

Groan :D

Offline sheldimus

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #8 on: 18 December, 2015, 15:48:33 »
Hopefully one for Sheldi:

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre ......
So the barman gives her one

Groan :D

Oh that's poor show..!
But you might like this.. ;) :P

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme..
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.
Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?!

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail..

Offline shakie

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #9 on: 18 December, 2015, 17:38:12 »
But how do you make a hormone.............don't  pay her......!!!
"Old people are no good at everything".....Homer Simpson  ....doh!

Offline AaronCox

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my joke of the day
« Reply #10 on: 14 September, 2017, 09:39:21 »
That was a filtered excellent joke. The funniest I have ever heard in years. Well done

Offline Ramsay

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #11 on: 29 September, 2017, 19:52:20 »
At the wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.  It was their time to stand up and talk or forever hold their peace.
 
The moment of silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying an infant.
 She started walking toward the pastor slowly.
Everything quickly turned to chaos.
The bride dropped her bouquet, started crying and slapped the groom.
The groom's mother fainted.
The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman,  "Can you tell us why you came forward?  What do you have to say?"
The woman replied,  "We can't hear in the back."

Offline Porky

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #12 on: 30 September, 2017, 19:25:19 »

Offline Ramsay

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Re: my joke of the day
« Reply #13 on: 06 October, 2017, 18:07:58 »
I got so drunk last night, I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest.